On Stranger Tides (though hardly on any tides at all!)

Yes, if you actually are a reader of this blog lately you're saying "what? You haven't even finished your last blogging project!" In fact, you're probably saying "you never finish any of your projects!!!"
I know. I know. Honestly, I swear I do. I just tend to finish the ones that provide food for my children first . . . and the others, well, I get around to them eventually.

But I will post the last installment of The Mongello Project soon. As well as a sort-of "Springer's Final Thought" about that whole week, which is now two weeks gone by! Whoops!
But I wanted to weigh in on Pirates 4 while it's still somewhat fresh in my mind.

A lot of online fanboys and would-be Roger Eberts have been slamming it pretty hard. I don't get it. I suppose there is a simple explanaion: they aren't really fans of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies anyway.
And if you're not, you probably won't like it. But if you are . . . you're probably going to have a great time watching it! Especially in 3D!

Is it the best of the series? No. But I'd say it is pretty close to tied with At World's End for my second favorite of the series. If I were to list them in order of favorite to least-so, it would probably look like this:

1. Curse of the Black Pearl
2. At World's End
3. On Stranger Tides
4. Dead Man's Chest

Ok, honestly I'd make Dead Man's Chest # 5 and hope the 5th installment is good enough to fill that fourth spot, if not push one of the others even lower. I admit I'm not a big fan of the second flick. If you cut the whole cannibal island sequence out, there's a good chance I'd look more fondly upon it. But it was just too long and that scene did nothing to serve the story, except to maybe explain why a few crewmembers from Black Pearl weren't around any more!
By the time it got to the good stuff . . . Davy Jones and the Flying Dutchman. . . I was so exhausted I had a hard time sticking with it. And I still don't understand the rules of that dice game they played! None-the-less, I'm not saying I hate the movie, it's just not one I've watched multiple times.

But back to On Stranger Tides . . . is it a great cinematic epic achievement. No. But it's full of action and excitement. And I laughed out loud numerous times throughout, and for me that's saying something. Johnny Depp has officially morphed into Jack Sparrow, or vice versa. And we as fans have completely bought in. To the point where I find myself laughing as simple facial ticks, because I can almost hear what he's thinking . . . and it's funny!

Now . . . SPOILER ALERT . . . as they say on the interwebs . . .

It has it's weak points. It seemed like a cool idea that Blackbeard zombified his officers to make them more compliant, but they really didn't act like zombies. They were just ugly. They didn't seem to be under any kind of enchantment at all. They still seemed to be doing their own thimking, speaking, etc, so why add that? Not too mention, if you buy into that idea, wouldn't it make more sense to zombifie the crew?
And on the subject of Blackbeard, I will admit as a fan of actual pirate history and lore, this Blackbeard left me wanting. Ian McShane looks great in the part, but the performance just didn't quite hit the notes of bloodthirsty, soul-less monster he was said to be and I wanted to see portrayed. In life, Edward Teach would have made Jack Sparrow quake in his boots even more than Tentacle faced Davy Jones & Skeleton-man Barbosa put together.

However . . . it did occur to me halfway through that this Blackbeard is nearing the end of his life . . . rapidly in fact. So perhaps in his defense he had mellowed, a bit, and wouldn't be quite the monster he was in his prime.

The other little issue that stuck in my craw; on the piece of the map that Jack reveals at the end of At World's end, isn't the location of the Fountain of Youth implied to be in Florida? Which, by the way is where I thought most believe it would have been, were it real? Maybe I'm remembering wrong but I swear the camera zooms in on the map and it's clearly our beloved SouthEastern-most state.

And lastly, the flick is called On Stranger Tides but it seemed like 80% of it took place on land! What tides are we talking about?!?!

Anyway, all that aside, it's little stuff. The movie is a ton of fun and well worth the price of admission. And, while I am skeptical about the current deluge of 3D conversions, I loved seeing it in 3D. Does it really add anything to the movie? Not to the story, but I'll say while you won't miss anything if you see the 2D version, you might get a couple more thrills if you pop for the glasses!

I also really enjoyed Captain Barbossa's story arch. I daresay I'd almost pay to watch an entire movie just about the continuing adventures of Captain Hector Barbossa! He is a great character and I remember the reaction of the entire audience, myself included, when he came clomping down those stairs, ressurected at the end of Dead Man's Chest. I think it is time for a spin-off.

So rest easy, my Pirates (and Disney in general) fans and friends. If you haven't seen it, do! Don't wait for the DVD or Blu-Ray. See it on a big screen as it's meant to be seen. Don't listen to the mundane critics out there. I walked out of the theater feeling excited and entertained and already hungry for the next installment, which I predict there will be. Jerry Bruckheimer is already having a script written. And why not? For those keeping count, there have been 25 James Bond movies and they've been pretty darn successful! I think at least 5 Jack Sparrow flicks would be permissible! The only caution, never recast Capt. Jack as they do 007.
When Johnny finally says no more, that will be the nail in ol' Jack Sparrow's coffin.

Perhaps I am biased of course due to a connection to the source material, but what's wrong with that??? No apologies, just like a pirate.